The Human
by cattle mutilation
Summary: Black realizes that toying with time-ring could lead to disastrous results. a raunchy, humorous fic, focusing on Black's struggles with the humans, namely a flighty teenager named, Chichi.
1. chapter the first

**A/N: I'm back with yet another black x Chichi fic XD. while I haven't forgotten about 'Trapped' this is just drabble-ish, lighthearted and not to be taken seriously ficcy, something to keep you guys (and me) entertained until I get my motivation for trapped back lol**

 **and keep in mind that this Black is an AU Black, which his backstory is going to be revealed in future chapters.**

* * *

 _ **chapter 1**_

 _ **in which Black realizes the folly of his deeds**_

* * *

Zamasu had warned him; He had specifically told him NOT to use the time ring, and especially not to use it to travel _back_ in time. Black had understood the reason behind it, going back in time could lead to serious precautions, ones that could put all their hard work to waste, ruin their ultimate plan of cleansing the universe of these wretched mortals, and he could have an unfortunate meeting with Beerus and inadvertently die. but the Box, where the time ring had been safely hidden from prying eyes, sat there, right in front of him. Tempting and testing his loyalty...

The human vessel he inhabited had always been a curious creature, had always sought the unknown, coupled with his innate desire for a new challenge made it almost impossible for Black to sit still. And the truth of the matter is, Black had been bored!

After vanquishing the Saiyan, Trunks, the earth had turned entirely into a barren wasteland, thus they were on their next step towards Utopia: the reconstruction of earth. Nothing Black was knowledgeable about; He and Zamasu functioned as a pair, where one destroys, the other builds. So really, his job was over and done with and he had nothing else to do beside staring at the ring box, and by Gods the lure had been strong!

Zamasu would be displeased if he found out, that thought lingered for a while in his head, and was the reason he hesitated, but then again what could possibly go wrong? He'll be careful, He'll make sure to do no mistakes that could alter the timeline. And _if_ Zamasu had ever found out, it's not like he could do anything, the Kai might be immortal, but he's the stronger one...

And thus here he was, in the past...

He wasn't sure how many years back he traveled to, but quite frankly he was already pleased. The environment was refreshing and he inhaled deeply the unpolluted air. The area he was in seemed foreign now, while he was inside a building before, now he was surrounded by dense foliage trees. Black relaxed, closing his eyes, he stretched his senses to farthest reaches of earth and searched for something even remotely familiar. First energy to come up on his radar was the strongest by far and he had recognized it as young Son Goku's. Black smirked, it was so puny compared to his, but for now he will avoid all contact with his replica. No fun in defeating the weaker. next he sensed that scientists, Trunks' mother, what was her name again...? Oh, well didn't matter.

He had sensed several other relatively strong energies but none in which Black had recognized. most pleasingly, though he sensed no Trunks around! not surprising, he went way back in the past, before Trunks' birth, apparently.

Suddenly, Black stood still, in the distance, north east from where he stood, he detected a Ki. A Ki that seemed to be spiking intermittently. It was by no means big, but something about it, _something_ had struck as scarcely… _intimate_. Black had contemplated whether he should investigate, or just let it go for it could lead to something serious, but once again his curiosity had won, and he found himself transmitting to that _thing's_ location.

The sight that greeted Black at his arrival made him raise a brow, a small human female had been having a duel with a dinosaur that was about 15 times her size. She moved gracefully between his limps, sweeping one leg at his knee with a powerful a blow causing the creature to fall forward, hastily the human moved out of the way, jumped and landed a finishing blow to the head. she had surprisingly won!

 _'Not bad for a human…_ ' Black thought, mildly impressed!

Dusting her attire, the girl turned and had finally registered his presence.

"Goku?" he watched her; it took her five seconds (and he counted) to turn from bewildered to disgustingly _happy._ Why? He soon found out as the human clasped her hands in front of her chest, face beaming and eyes sparkling. "Goku!" She squealed, bouncing her way towards him. That! That action alone made him take a step back, For a second there, he was actually weary!

When she reached him, she instantly jumped on his arm. His eyes twitched and Although Black had stood poised, he was seriously contemplating killing her.

 _How dare this filthy human touch him!_

"Oh, Goku, you came back for me~" she was squeezing his arm to her soft breast so tight, and rubbing her cheek against it like a cat, completely missing how his countenance had contorted with contempt. Just what's with this creature?!

Black had to take a deep breath and remember that she had recognized him as _Goku_ , that was mistake one for him. He should not expose himself now as anyone different, she clearly knew his vessel. Besides he was also still curious about this girl, why her Ki summoned him. But It is alright, he will have to play it coolly, tolerate this earthling for the time being.

"Hn, yes." He said nothing more for he didn't know what her name was.

"aha! I knew you'd remember our promise!" She shrieked, showing absolutely no self restraint with the noises she was producing. Just what was wrong with her? He had met a lot of earthlings and none of them behaved like her. But then again he wasn't actively trying to kill her, either.

"Hn."

She let go of him, finally, as she took a stand before him, scrutinizing. "wow you've grown!" she puckered her lips, furrowing her eyebrows. "I mean you've _really_ grown..."

Black tensed, sensing her suspicion and he cleared his throat. "training!"

That answer seemed to suffice as her face brightened slightly, But then she frowned and leaned forward on her toes. Agitated, he uttered. "what?!"

"um, what's with the black clothes?" she cocked her head to the side, curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

Had Son Goku never warn black? Truth of the matter was, Black hadn't been told much about the past life of this body, nor had he cared enough to ask. he was divine, why should he be interested in a wretched mortal's life? Even if he had inhibited said wretched mortal's body. But it would seem that it might have been useful in his current situation. Oh, well, can't be helped, he supposed.

Black shifted rather uncomfortably where he stood, searching for the right answer lest invoke suspicion. "do you not like it?" he asked, gauging her reaction.

"No, no, nothing like that, I just thought you'd be wearing the hermit school's Gi, that's all…" The unstable human then cupped her flushed cheek, "but I think you look really handsome in 'em, Goku." And then she proceeded to squeal and squeak shyly all over again, "you know, I was afraid I'd have to go to the tournament if you hadn't come for me, hehe, I'm so glad you came!"

 _He was so not glad he came!_

his jaw tightened, Black had little to no experience in dealing with humans –and definitely not one as deranged as this female- all his previous interactions had involved them screaming and dying, really, he never once stopped to care about starting a conversation, they were beneath him after all. But as he looked upon the creature with anticipating eyes, he realized he had to say/do _something_ … and the best that came to mind at the moment was something Zamasu had always offered him whenever he felt uncertainty: a smile! Right all he had to do is give her a genuine, with no ill intention smile. Easy. He never done it before but how hard can it be?

Black's lips twitched, stretching wide across his face in what he deemed a lighthearted, genuine smile.

The girl blinked, looking startled for a second there but quickly shifted her eyes to the side, "well… I think it's time to go back!"

 _Hmph, seems like it worked_ , Black thought, watching the girl as she brushed past him, towards the dead animal she killed earlier. Grabbing the dinosaur by its tale, she brought him to where he stood. she cracked a grin and aggressively looped her arm around his. Gods, he really hoped he wouldn't have to deal with her for long. "Pa is gonna be so happy to see you, Goku!" she sighed, rather dramatically in his opinion. "Ah! I've been waiting for you for so long~"

"why?"

the question had sort of unintentionally flew out of his mouth, but the girl giggled as she kept dragging him _and_ the dinosaur together. "why, of course, so we get married, silly! now let's hurry up, so we can start on the wedding preparation!"

it was then, Black blanched. Did she just say they're getting married?!

* * *

 **i feel sorry for Black tbh**.

have you ever wondered what would happen if black was the one to marry chichi? i haven't tbh until i wrote this.


	2. Chapter the second

**the chappy is dedicated to blauxvixen (foxqueen) fo being such a lovely person and amazing artist! hope you enjoy!**

* * *

 **chapter two**

 **in which Black experiences a strange feeling**

* * *

Three days. The human had been following him around for three whole days, clinging to his arm like there's no tomorrow. There weren't many things that could harm Black; back when he was just an apprentice for his caregiver, Zamasu, the God training he was put under had been brutal! Enduring day-to-day strenuous training that left his body bruised and mutilated.

Trunks and co. were able to land a few good blows, that had done quite the damage, but nothing, nothing this insignificant had ever managed to harm him. In the few days he spent with her, he had lost all feeling in his left arm for her relentless hold had successfully shut off all blood circulation to said arm.

Oh, how tempted he was to just blast her! If only the food wasn't so good...

If there's one thing he'd applaud the humans for, that'd be their ability to produce such fine cuisines. Neither he nor Zamasu have been particularly good at cooking. The Kai could brew a good tea, but that was it. That was practically all his culinary skills, and the food _he_ made had often tasted bland on his taste buds. Earth's food had been an exquisite experience so far and the human leech was especially a good cook, he concluded that much from the rare occasions she left his arm to cook him something.

"Chichi, maybe you should give Goku some space while he eats, dear?" The idiotic father of the deranged girl said, "you aren't going to cling to him for the next three months, are you?"

At this, a semblance of a smile touched Black's face, he placed his fork down and cocked his towards the girl who had spent the entire time during breakfast, staring dreamily at him. Chichi snaps from her daze and frowns at her father, "what, Pa? Are you saying I'm bothering him?"

The large man shrank in his seat, waving his hands in a gesture that Black understood as trying to calm the girl down. For some reason, seems like everyone in this place feared the she-monster to a certain extent. "I'm just saying, that maybe Goku is uncomfortable with you clinging to him all the time, sweetie."

Black nodded. what you know, seems like the jovial father wasn't entirely a fool as he perceived him to be. The girl, though, had missed his nod as she was glaring viciously at her father. "Goku doesn't mind," she said, then turned and gave him a disgustingly sweet smile, "right, Goku?"

A wolfish grin split across Black's face, Oh he minded, alright. A sense of self-satisfaction washed over him. someone is finally going to tell this girl off. Someone will finally teach her a lesson that she can't always have what she wants. "Well, actual—"

"Hoho, I have so much planned today. I'm gonna show you this really cool place, you're gonna love it!" She squealed, squeezing his arm yet again, "we're gonna have a picnic there..." she trailed off, and all the while she babbled on, Black's mobile arm twitched violently beside him.

Why hadn't he killed her yet?

* * *

The girl was taking forever to get dressed for this supposed picnic, and Black was waiting impatiently in the castle's garden, arms folded, fingers drumming at his biceps as he leaned against the wall facing said garden. The place roamed with several working humans while some children ran around. The garden was well kept, in fact, Black will admit that this place in whole was fit for a king, lavish and extravagant. Still beneath a god like him, but it'll have to do for the time he's staying here.

Three months. Three miserable months 'till the human parasite turns 18 and they'd wed per her fool of a father's request, Long enough time for him to have enough of the food here and the humans and most likely Zamasu would have been done with the reforming work. How laughable! They actually thought he would stay for all this time and marry the earthling woman. Oh, he had a surprise for them!

Black felt something tug at his clothes. Looking down he found a small filthy creature clutching the fabric of his pants, and he had to resist the urge to kick it away."What?!" he inquired.

The creature smiled, "are you mister Goku?"

He nodded disinterestedly, hoping it would go away quickly, but no such luck as the smile on its face grew to a full blown grin, "I knew it. The princess talks about you all the time—are you really marrying her?"

 _No_. Black was tempted to say, instead, he gave another firm nod, not regarding the creature with a look. Perhaps it will lose interest and leave by itself.

The child though didn't budge.

"The princess says you're really nice, would you give me a piggyback ride?" It proceeded.

"No," Black replied tersely, scowling, he was getting increasingly annoyed, increasingly fast.

 _It_ pouted, focusing his eyes on the man before him. "but the princess said, when you come marry her you'll give me plenty of piggyback rides 'cause your big and strong..." it trailed off.

"I don't care what that demented human told you! Now piss off, you worthless worm." Black snapped, shaking his leg free from the child's hold. He'll probably have to burn this pants later on, now that it's contaminated with human filth.

However, the child seemed unfazed, green eyes stared curiously at black, "but I'm not a worm, I'm a little boy, can't you see my arms and legs?" He flailed for emphasis, "see?-and what's 'demented' mean? Why do you call the princess 'human'?"

 _irritating!_

"Shoo! Shoo!" Black motioned slowly, taking the less intelligent approach now since this kid didn't seem to take the hint.

The Brat's features dramatically changed at this. His eyebrows lowered and lips sneered, prompting Black to raise a brow and before he knew, the human had done the unexpected.

He kicked his leg… hard!

Rage swelled in Black's chest, he barely felt the hit, of course, but he was at the ends of his wits by now. he had little to no tolerance for humans, and for this low-life wretch to so outrageously hit him. Him, a god, is unacceptable.

Oh, no, He will not let this slide; he had to deal with that moronic betrothed of his for the past few day, but at least she was useful in a way, he won't stand for any more disrespect, especially not from this useless lump of cells. He crouched down the human's level and settled a hand on his brown head. Oh, how small his skull was, and how easily crushed it would be if he tried. Black smiled nefariously, "listen, human if you don't-"

"Princess!" He was cut off for the second time today and his face twitched, but he watched as the child's brows raise and he broke free from his hold, running toward the newly emerged human female.

Chichi placed both hands on his shoulder and stopped the boy midway from jumping on her. "Woah there," she laughed, "can't have you ruining my new dress now, can I? Look at you! You're all dirty!" She pulled a handkerchief and wiped its face with it, her face shone with a certain kindness that he has yet to see her exhibit with anyone else. Black raised a brow at the whole interaction, she kissed the child on its nose, smiling genuinely; he thought everyone feared her, but it seems, though, there are exceptions.

"You look really beautiful today, princess?" The child grinned widely.

"Eh? You really think so, Natto?"

"Mhmm!" He nodded, then turned and shot him a glare. One that made Black question this child's innocence. "mister Goku wouldn't me give a piggyback ride, though..."

The female's eyes drifted towards him for a moment before settling back on the boy again, her hand ruffled his hair, "aww, well, Goku and I have somewhere to go, so he can't play with you right now, but I promise I will make him give you a piggyback ride some other time, okay? Why don't you go play with the other kids now?"

Such fickle creature, he cheered up almost immediately from her words, "okay! Bye, princess!" He waved, running off in the opposite direction. Good riddance.

Chichi had turned, she gave a look that he wasn't sure how to decipher, "you look way better when you're smiling..."

"I was not smiling." He frowned, finding her observation baseless.

"oh, I was sure yo—"

"I was not!" he repeated, insulted, somehow. idiotic human, why would she even think he was smiling. How had she mistaken his obvious disgust for something as ludicrous as smiling?

The girl shrugged her shoulders. She then placed both hands behind her back, and swayed like a tree leaf against the wind, smiling shyly at him.

Bemused, he asked, "what?"

Chichi looked instantly deflated, "you're supposed to say something about my dress!"

Why? He pondered, however, He looked her over: she wore a knee length dress that was sleeveless. The fabric had flowers, of various colors, printed all over it, she also let her hair down and wore a maroon shoe that matched the general color of the dress."It's flowery.

"It's flowery," Black commented, ambiguously.

Her shoulders slouched, looking dejected as she mumbled under her breath "I should have known... Oh well, better get going!"

It surprised him how fast she changed moods; one minute she's cheerful, and the next she's about to cry, give her another minute and she's back to the former, she's as unpredictable as the weather. He wondered if all women were like that, for her father kept an almost constant amiable behavior.

Black followed her to where she's going, glad that for once she wasn't clinging pesteringly to his arm as they walked. Though, she was quiet for some reason. "how far is that place you spoke of?"

Without looking back at him, she answered, "about half an hour away from the village." she stood abruptly, turned and perked at him all of a sudden, "can we take that flying Nimbus of yours?"

The hell is a flying Nimbus? "No."

She frowned, "Why not?"

"Because I can fly!" Black folded his arms, he didn't know what a flying Nimbus was but the word 'flying' must indicate that it at least has something to do with flying, he hoped.

Her eyes widened in awe and there was that twinkle again that she seemed to have lost earlier. "You can fly?!"

He gave a firm nod, however, he felt uncomfortable with the look she gave him. She brought her hands together where only the fingertips touched, beaming enthusiastically, "can you, maybe carry me there? That way we can get there faster and the sun is too hot for such a long walk anyway."

What an opportunist. She was willing to walk a minute ago, yet the moment he mentioned he could fly, she wanted to be carried. Typical human!

Black sighed and approached her, snatching her hand from beside her as his feet levitated off the earth.

"eh?" the girl started, "like this?" and it was then she started to panic and flail, "No!Not like this, dammit. Put me down!"

She continued to struggle and swing her legs, screaming at him to put her down. He, on the other hand, contemplated dropping her. Oh, how he wanted to drop her. Fly higher and just drop her.

He dropped down.

Chichi wobbled a little before she found her bearings, she scowled. What's wrong with her this time?

"what is it?" he asked.

Her cheeks flushed, and voice lowered, "you're supposed to carry me more lady-like!"

Black didn't say a word, he began to walk in the same direction she led him before. He was done dealing with this human's foolishness.

"hey! Where're you going?!"

* * *

This place was wasted on humans, Black thought, strewn over a bed of flower. It was a quiet hill. Peaceful. The sun shone on over his body, a cool zephyr, carrying the faint yet soothing scent of roses caressed his skin, as the birds sang in the trees and butterflies danced cheerfully over the various flowers in this field.

Everything here existed together in perfect harmony.

The only thing that didn't fit was the murderous human, humming somewhere around here.

'picking flowers' she called it, yet Black only saw it as killing those helpless plants. This is why they needed to go extinct. Mortals don't know how to co-exist, always bullying those who are weaker than they are. They're parasites that fed off everything good these beautiful planets had to give. However, though, he will cherish those quiet moments away from her. Black closed his eyes, the serenity of this place lulling him to sleep—

"hey! Look what I made you!"

Such short-lived peace.

He opened one eyelid and regarded her, annoyed. She was carrying a ring of flowers in her hands, drawing closer to him. As she kneeled down beside him, her hair brushed against his face when she placed the flowers on his head, she smiled. "a flower crown."

 _She smelt nice_ , that was the only thought on his head. even better than the flowers that surrounded him.

Chichi sat down beside him with a bunch of flowers in her lap, her usually dark hair cascading down her shoulders, but the sun rays filtered through it, making it look like as if it was lit from the inside, giving it a brown-reddish glow.

It was simply beautiful.

His chest felt a certain warmth thrive within it, and his skin tightened, making the hair on his arm stand on ends. Chichi turned abruptly, looking down at him, "look I made one for myself, too—hm, what's wrong?" she asked, eyebrows raised slightly.

It was then he realized he had been staring at her face all this time.

"nothing," Black muttered, swallowing something in the back of his throat. He shook his head, closing his eyes again. he wasn't sure what just happened, but he wasn't going to dwell on it much. Sometimes this body acted in ways he didn't understand. This must be one of those times. yes, definitely.

"do you like it? the flower crown, I mean." she asked.

"hn." he grunted, frankly he didn't pay attention to it. he didn't care.

"you don't talk much, do you?"

"you noticed, huh?" as if he needed to say anything to begin with, the human was a chatterbox, she could talk non-stop for hours, he learned to tune her most of the time.

Chichi huffed beside him, obviously not appreciating his sarcasm. Good. Maybe now he could relax a bit—

Nope, not happening today, apparently, as he felt her move and rest her head on his shoulder, snuggling closer to his arm, her warm breath tickling the exposed skin of his neck. He should be annoyed, but try as he might, he just wasn't. maybe he's finally starting to get used to her.

Black sighed, no matter how much he loathed the human leech, he will admit that she, at least, smelt nice…

and felt soft.

* * *

 **A\N:**

 **Oh boy, blacku, you're in for quite the ride. I am a huge fan of slow development, I really don't like rushing things, so the naughty stuff starts later.**

 **Reviews corner:**

 **Tevinssj7: not sure what you mean tbh, but thanks for the review.**

 **Roku1397: I'm glad you enjoyed it, though I really can't promise fast updates, this isn't the only fic I'm writing and it's not like I have nothing else to do but to write, not to mention I'm always battling writer's block.**

 **Andrey258: thank you, thank you, I'm glad you liked it. Zamasu will come into play later on, though I'm not sure how he'll react to Black marrying an earthling… ;)**

 **Tsumerei: aww thank you! I'm not giving up on Trapped but that fic honestly takes a lot of energy and emotions lol, I've already outlined the story and (beyond) even started writing a bit of it. I'm just messing around with this fic that's why it's easier for me to write it. And oh, I'm always encouraging people to write more black x chichi fics, I'm surprised I'm the only one doing so at this point, so please, be my guest, write one, I'd be happy to read it.**

 **Foxqueen: I love you too! *huggles* and thank you!**

 **Layla MT: uh, thank you for the review? I wish I could read Spanish but I can't.**

 **S3mmy: thank you, hope you enjoy this chapter too.**


	3. Chapter the third

dedicated to the lovely _foxsqueen_ ( _blauvixen_ on Tumblr)

* * *

 _in which black realizes that his human is a terrible liar_

* * *

 _Tick …Tock …Tick… Tock_

Consciousness flickering at the edge of his comatose mind. Darkness surrounds him...

 _Tock … Tick… Tock… Tick…_

the sound of rain drops pattering against the glass window... and the whirring of the fan.

What is this? This hot wind against his cheek... and that certain pressure on the left side of his chest, and something entirely different pressed against his lips. soft... warm... moving...

Pleasant...

He moaned sleepily, face twitching as he fluttered his heavy eyelids, feeling as if they were glued together—

BANG

A loud noise seemed to jerk him to full awakening, and cause his pulse to pound in his ears. Without even realizing it, his arm was stretched, ready to take out any possible threat in its way.

A gasp alerted him to the other presence in the room and his eyes were instantly on the silhouette hidden underneath the dim lighting, amongst the various useless items lying around. The dreary weather outside his window allows him to see the frantically waving hands but obstructs him from recognizing the face. Black narrows his eyes, mind still in the process of awakening, completely forgetting he could sense the other person if he wished to. Issue solved, though, as the creature who dared to invade his sanctuary speaks, "d-don't shoot!"

It's the girl, of course!

He inhaled deeply through his nostrils, willing himself NOT to fire the ball of toxic energy her way before hesitantly dissolving it. he reached a hand to the bedside lamp, turning it on. Just what was she doing this time?

With a scowl etched deeply on his beautiful features, he throws away the covers and saunters menacingly to the girl, who seemed to have sensed the danger and promptly took a step back every time he came closer. But he had her. Last time he checked, humans can't go through walls.

a hand slapped loudly against the wall right next to her head, promoting a flinch as he towers above her. Leaning in, he gauged her reaction. She looked scared. Good. but she was also blushing and refusing to look him in the face. Why?

"Why are you in my room while it's still dark?" He asked, voice low, threatening.

"Well, actually it's already morning—"

"Answer the question!"

"N-nothing," She stutters. Still not meeting his eyes.

"You lie."

"No, I don't!"

"Then what were you doing here? I don't recall giving you permission to enter."

At this, she looks up and he could see that she was making an effort not to break eye contact, her blush intensifies. "I-I came to wake you up for breakfast, that's all. I did knock, you didn't wake up though."

He leans even closer and she makes a loud gulp. Black knew himself a light sleeper, if she DID knock, he'd have undoubtedly woken up. She was hiding something, he could tell from her behavior that she was. She looks guilty. "That's it?"

"Yes!" She replies, bobbing her head with vigor. Her whole body stiff, waiting for his response.

Well, he didn't believe her, though he was fully aware he won't be getting any straight answer from her this way so he lets her go, and she exhales a sigh of relief, still uncharastically timid.

He folds his arms above his naked torso. "You may go."

And she almost bolts out of the room. Yep, she was definitely hiding something...

* * *

After an awfully awkward breakfast —well awkward for them. He, for once, was enjoying the food without her clinging to him, though her behavior was making him more and more suspicious. Her father declares their plans for the day. Apparently, since the weather won't permit any outside activities, he hired a dance instructor (whatever that is), and he was scheduled to arrive in an hour from now. "I don't suppose you know how to dance, do you, Goku?" asked the father.

"No," was his curt response, not minding the large man a glance as he continues to eat. As long as he continues to enjoy earth's food, they'll continue to stay alive, was his new motto.

Ox laughs in a slightly awkward manner. "uh, well, that's what the dance instructor is for."

Whatever that 'dance instructor' is, he'll endure. He's proud to say that he's becoming a _little_ more tolerant of humans. he had to thank his betrothed for that, dealing with her makes dealing with everything else a lot easier. And, surprisingly, that same betrothed hadn't said a word the entire time during breakfast.

Walking into a room of vast space that he came to recognize as the drawing room(strange the name was as they hardly did any drawing), Black finds Chichi there, sitting on a chair, back hunched with both hands tucked beneath her. How she got here before he did? He had no idea, but he doesn't dwell on it much, finding it of no importance to him.

As he reached her, she noted his presence and shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Dear Supreme Kai, could she be more obvious? He glares, taking the seat next to her. "When is this dance instructor coming?"

As if on cue, a flashy man walks in. His greasy shoulder length hair flapping around him. He was dressed in black tight clothes with the shirt open all the way towards his mid section, showing a disgusting amount of chest hair. Was that their supposed dance instructor?

"Hello," the man greets. Chichi gets up to welcome him, bowing her head. Black stays still.

"Nice to finally meet you, princess!" He takes Chichi's hand in his and kisses it.

Black sneers, he was disgusted.

"My name is Fabio, and this is my assistant, Julia." He gestures towards the woman behind him, and Black, just now, notices her presence. She was tall, blonde and scantily dressed, showing half of her over exaggerated breasts, eyeing him strangely as she bows as well, and her breast almost spills from her clothing.

He closes his eyes, folding his arms above his broad chest. He just hoped this lesson won't last for long.

"—Oh, right, this is Goku, my fiance."

At the mention of his name, he opens his eyes and sees Chichi motioning towards him. the man next to her smiles, extends his hand and chirps like an idiot, "such an honor to meet the princess's groom to be. I am Fabio, a pleasure to make your acquaintance."

There's no other being in the whole 12 universes that could've worn the expression _'you're beneath me_!' better than Black could at this moment. He looks at his outstretched hand and then back at his face, had this lowlife honestly thought that _he_ would degrade himself to a level low enough where he would shake hands with a human, like... like... equals?

No chance in all 12 hells is that going to happen!

And as it seems the dance instructor Fabio, reads that on his face and retracts his hands. "Well then, let's get this lesson started, shall we? Julia, music!" He claps his hands once, twice, and moves to the center of the room as the sound of music is heard from the other end. "Have you ever danced, princess?"

Chichi shakes her head. "ah, no."

"And, uh...T-the groom?"

She shakes her head again.

"Well, that's alright, I guess," the instructor says, "In that case, first me and Julia will show you how it's done, after that each of us will teach you separately. Julia!" the busty blonde saunters towards the man, and Black watches disinterestedly as they locked arms around each other, then began a peculiar set of movements, in which he soon ignored, closing his eyes yet again. Maybe he could meditate a little while they do their thing? Whatever it was.

…

He was completely lost to the world when he felt a faint tap against his shoulder, opening his eyes, he was met with the pale globular flesh of the dance instructor's assistant' breasts. He looked up. she spoke, smiling, "while Fabio is teaching the princess, it's my job to teach _you_."

Black, as if to confirm what she had just told him, seeks Chichi, finding her interlaced with 'Fabio' who looked surprisingly professional, Chichi, on the other hand, wasn't fairing too well, but what does he care?

With a tedious huff, he lifts himself from his chair, though as soon as he's up, the assistant takes his hand and drags him towards the center of the room, and at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to boil his hand clean from her filth. As soon as she stopped dragging him, Black snatches his hand back and scowls.

"Oh, you can't take your hand back just yet," She waved a finger in his face, then dared to take both his hands this time. One was placed on her hip as she took the other in hers. "I still need to teach you how to dance, cutie." She winked, her body was so close to his, her humongous breast flattened against his chest. And Black felt bile rise into his throat at the feel.

 _Endure! Endure_ , he chanted. This will only last for a short while... he hoped.

Exhaling heavily, he allows the woman to guide him across the room, doing a pugilist job of following her footsteps. Why is this even important? What's the point of learning this so called 'dance'?

And why in blazes is he acquiescing?

"Princess! This is the fifth time you step on my foot!"

"I-I'm sorry," Chichi stammers.

The man huffs, and then flares his nose, arrogantly. "it's as if you have two left feet!"

"I'm sorry, I-I never danced before this—"

"Hmph, I can see that. Now let's start over." He takes her hand again and begins the set of movements Chichi was clearly struggling in following, and she keeps her eyes glued to their feet. "Keep your eyes on my face, Princess. when dancing you must flow, look like this is your natural zone. Do not count steps."

"R-Right." As soon as she does as instructed, she steps on his foot yet again and gasps, covering her mouth for the horrendousness of her own mistake. "I'm sorry!"

The man looks indignant. "I've never seen a clumsier princess before, honestly. At this rate, I'm not sure if you'd be able to get it before the wedding."

Chichi bites her lip, face flushing brightly in mortification. "I'll do my best this time, I promise."

"Hmph, let's see where your best takes us." And they start again.

Black hadn't realized that all this time he'd been standing still, watching their interaction and somehow wiping his dance partner's existence from his consciousness (and she had been trying relentlessly to get him to move). His heart beat was racing, he was usually glad whenever he witnessed the rare moments when someone tells her off, however, this time he found it infuriating. Why was she letting this 'dance instructor' treat her this way? Where is that spit-fire and haughty attitude of hers?

His jaw clenched, eyebrows drawing together, he watched the man's posture, the placements of his hands, his coordinated 1, 2, 3 foot movements, and the way he held his head, still perfectly ignoring the busty human's pursues. Black memorized every step, twirl, and twist with blooming determination, he turns to his dance partner and commences the dance with perfect precision.

"Oh, my…" the assistant comments, as they both glide across the room.

After a couple more minutes, he stops to look down at the woman with the revolting ecstatic expression. "Is this good enough?"

With a dreamy look on her face, she replies, "yes, you're perfect!"

He smirks, lets her go, and turns towards the other dancing pair, finding them standing still, bewildered.

"Mr. Goku, that was astounding _!_ Are you sure this is your first time dancing?"

He doesn't dignify the man with a response, instead, Black walks to the pair, grabs Chichi by the arm and snatches her to his side, never breaking his cold gaze away from the man. "your service is no longer required. now that _I've_ learned, I shall teach her myself. Leave."

"Excuse me?" Fabio asks, slack jawed.

A sigh, must he repeat himself? "leave."

"But I was paid to teach the—"

"As I said, your services are no longer needed, I will take over for you, considering that you were already doing terrible at your own job."

The human was offended. "it's not my fault that _she,"_ He points at Chichi and proceeds, "can't even follow a few simple steps," The dimwitted girl gasps behind him. "I'm a dance instructor, not a magician, you know…"

Every word the man said was true, more than likely, still Black didn't fancy agreeing with him. He smirks, raising a brow. "a sorry excuse to cover up your own shortcomings, no doubt."

"I'm the best!" he declares, folds his arms and 'hmphs'. "I'm the one who wasted their time here."

This time, Black was the one offended, he dashes towards the human male and yanks him by the collar, they were both almost the same height, they stood nose to nose, and fright and panic were instantly evident in the human's eyes. "it seems that I've yet to make myself clear… allow me to repeat: if you don't leave in the next five seconds, I'll tear you to pieces, and make sure to blow each and every piece where there's not a single molecule of you left, and your soul? I'll be sending that to the pits of hell where you'll rot for all eternity, understood?" Black sported a crazed grin when he pushed the terrified human away who scurried to gather his belonging in a blink of an eye, grab his assistant and leave.

And it felt _so good_ to threaten the human, too good. His body shook with a long forgotten excitement. How long has it been? Since the last time he killed a mortal, since the last time he experienced the rush of battle, and how long has it been since the last time his body quivered with the thrill of conquering his foes like this? he ought to follow those humans just to blow up some much-needed steam.

Except he was halted with arms wrapped tightly around his torso.

Oh, right, he forgot _she_ was still here.

"my hero!" she exclaims, looking up, elated.

Oh, so now she decides to act herself. Black takes a deep breath, unsure as to where this frustration with her was stemming from, but he puts both hands on her shoulder and harshly pulls her off him. "what is wrong with?"

Taking aback, she stutters, "w-what?"

"you've been acting strange all morning, and then you stand still and allow some vermin to treat you badly. "

"Vermin?!"

"what were you doing in my room this morning?"

it was as if she remembered something horrible, her eyes widen and her face flushes profusely, and he had to tighten his hold to keep her in place."n-n-nothing!"

"What are you hiding? Speak now!"

"Ahh! please let me go." she was sweating now, eyes searching all around him for some kind of aid, and he was starting to wonder just how horrible what she did for her to display this kind of anti-confrontational behavior.

"Tell me what you did, right now!" he bellows.

"I didn't do anything bad-at least I don't think it's bad-I think... I just…"

"You just what?"

"I…" her eyes finally settle on his face, mustering some courage no doubt, she swallows. "I did this…" And her hands fly to his cheeks, holding them still, her mouth pressed against his. hot and soft, and he was reminded of their morning and the pleasantness of what he felt. The contact was momentary before she disappeared from before him, leaving him stunned and confused.

When he came down from the haze with dawning realization, heat rushed to his face and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "H-how abominable!"

* * *

friendly reminder that English is NOT my native tongue, so instead of you whining about grammatical mistakes, you can actually be helpful and point them out? it helps me improve and trust me they bother me more than they do you.

now that I got that outta my chest, Thank you all for the lovely reviews, follows and faves.


	4. chapter the fourth

this story is dedicated to the Black Gochi queen blauvixen (foxsqueen). and yes, I'm still alive ;)

* * *

 **(chapter 4)**

 **in which black realizes that human females can be frightening creatures.**

* * *

Within the quietness of the drawing room, Black found a little piece of Utopia. A divine tool that roused his imagination and derived inexplicable tingles from deep within his godly spirit.

His own guilty pleasure, stood erect on a set of wooden shelves that acted as a second wall.

Black had found _books!_

The concept of thoughts, imagination, and explanation written on a stack of sheets isn't unheard of. Of course, there are books in the godly realm. Books that meticulously talked about the creation of all things, the magic that set the universe in motion, and explained all the mysteries that lay beneath the known.

But, for some _unknown_ reason, Black had always found them numbingly _boring_.

At the time, when his partner, Zamasu, would _force_ him to read, Black linked it to the fact that he (unlike Zamasu, who seemed to drink the words in those books like he drinks his finest tea) wasn't much of an intellectual, and had little to no affinity to reading.

But the earthling written books had sure proven otherwise because Black found himself enamored by them, a reality for him that registered under both perturbing and exciting. He shouldn't be fascinated by anything the mortals made, after all, they were wretched creatures far beneath his class, that's how he came to know them throughout the time he was annihilating them, so why was he starting to think better of them? A thought that should never cross his mind… _ever!_

That is not to say that his opinion about the humans had made a 180 turn, he still thinks that they were a destructive mistake the gods' have made, but the books (more than the entertainment) it had offered a deeper insight into the humans' way of thinking. What made them tick, the reasons behind their actions (the good and the bad), and the whirlwind of emotions they went through, thus why a minuscule part of him was starting to understand them… and he finds that _sickening!_

More surprisingly than his newly-found twisted interest in humanly produced things, and more surprising than the uncouth, Ox king having such a large library with such a refined taste in books, Black is more alarmed by his inability to just… let go. Why he can't just seem to drop those interests of him.

And he blames it all on his stupid _bride-to-be_ …

Black shuts the book in his hand, closes his eyes, and exhales deeply as memories of what had conspired rush into his mind. Memories that he was trying his damnedest to forget. The incident that was the reason he was introduced to books in the first place in order to avoid her.

He couldn't believe what she had done!

That she had actually dared to touch him —more intimately than before— to glue her body against his, to place her lips upon his own.

 _It was revolting!_

 _And what's even more revolting is that he can't seem to stop thinking about it…_

Repulsive. Sickening. Nauseating is what he was supposed to feel about the kiss, but outrageously enough, he _doesn't_. Black leans his head against the back of the chair, he stares upwards and releases another frustrated sigh. Even now, 3 days later, he can distinctly recall the lingering taste she left on his lips, the soft, plump sensation, down to how her breath smelled when he inhaled her… _and how his body had responded…_

Zamasu had once told him that in his creation, his body was made under a slight influence of the mortals. It was so that he would experience their urges and learns to loathe them more, it was why he _needed_ food for sustenance, unlike his Kai, who can live solely off the energy of the world (the Kai fancied tea and pastries, though he doesn't _need_ to eat them). And aside from the need to eat and drink there were other urges… other urges that Black learned to ignore…

He winces at the thought, his tightening grip on the book in his hand compress the paper together, he can't ever recall a time when he was as confused as he is now, and it's so unbecoming of a god like him.

What's keeping him here? One might wonder. Why is he enduring all that is happening to him? Why won't he just end this ridiculous game he's playing, blow everything up and rid himself of all and any confusion? Black had certainly thought about it before, that his trip to this time was hassle he didn't need, but every time he tried going back to his own timeline a magnetic pull anchors him in his spot and steers his energy away from his limps to settle in the pit of his stomach, stirring, twisting and causing an uncomfortable feeling that doesn't seem to simmer down until he decides to stay.

Had that vile human infected him with a disease of some sort? Or was it the doing of his unquenched curiosity? That there might still be something here for him to discover? Whatever the reason, Black believes it's best not to delve too deep into the reasons. A tiny voice at the back of his head warns that the answer might shatter something valuable in his existence.

A soft knock brings him back to reality, Black straightens up as the door slowly opens. He's not at all surprised when _the_ girl enters with a tray in hand. She's been trying to win him back ever since and he's been ignoring her… more prominently than before.

He narrows his eyes as she avoids them.

"I-I brought you some tea and cake," she says and hastily places the tray on the table next to his chair seemingly uncomfortable under his glare.

Quite frankly, Black is pleased with this new arrangement of theirs; she grovels for his approval with all those treats she brings while he treats her like a servant, unworthy of his blessings. It works perfectly well. He's happy. So he returns to reading and pretends she's not in the room anymore as he takes a sip of the fine tea she made. He is _content._

"Um…" her voice disturbs the peace and he shoots her another glares. She fidgets and averts her eyes, squeezing her hands together in that nervous manner of hers he became accustomed within the last few days. "I'm sorry!" she blurts, "I've said it before but I wanna say it again. I know I shouldn't have done what I did… and I promise I won't do it again!"

This wasn't the first time chichi had apologized, nor the second or third, in fact, he'd lost count of how many times Chichi had apologized since then, but where they stood now is not something he'd like to change, so he answers, in the same manner, he did her last apologies; he grunts and resumes reading, completely disregarding her. She doesn't deserve his forgiveness.

A minute or two of silence passes before he hears a semi-huff, semi-sigh followed by footsteps, then the creak of the door as it opens and closes with a faint click. Finally, peace and quiet again… but it doesn't last longer than another minute or two as the door opens up again and he peers over his book to find the girl standing at it with one hand still on the door handle, and the other clenched by her side. "Is that all you have to say?"

He is confused, she's displaying a different reaction than the usual. "Yes," he replies with a condescending tone and dismisses her with his hand as he follows, "don't forget to close the door behind you."

Black was unprepared for the fire that instantly ignites into those fierce eyes of hers. For a split of a second, he thought that Chichi was perhaps superior to the rest of her race? For a split of a second, he thought of her as a force of nature that needs to be reckoned with. She was like a tornado that crossed the space between them to stand directly at his face, grabs his book, tosses it away and leaves Black both speechless and paralyzed.

And during that split of a second, Black felt _threatened!_

His eyes locked onto that fire and couldn't look away as she clenches her fist around his collar and pulls him to her face. "You know what? I'm really tired of trying to earn your forgiveness. And to tell you the truth, I don't even think what I did was wrong; we're engaged, and I kissed you as engaged people are supposed to do _!_ So stop being a jerk and **Deal with it**."

Stunned, he stares in silence as she releases him with a 'Hmph' turns and stomps towards the door, her silky black hair swaying left and right, the exact opposite motion to the swaying of her hips and when she slams the door shut in her departure, Black becomes hyper-aware of the changes his body had undergone just now. Heightened body temperature and increased heart rate were not from rage, that much he's sure of as he runs his hand across the hardened member between his legs and groans.

Yes, that vile human had definitely infected him with a disease of some sort…


End file.
